Father’s Day, another chance to say F you Cancer. You
probably thought about it pretty hard before opening this one. You probably thought to yourself, “Nope, I
know his day sucked, not going to read this one, keep scrolling.”
I didn’t wake up to breakfast in bed. I didn’t wake up to handmade gifts on the
counter. I didn’t spend the day near the
grille cooking for a big group. I didn’t
get to take selfies with my daughter doing something random to fill the
afternoon. I didn’t get to do any of
those, nor will I ever get to with Penelope.
But that’s just life. It will be
like this every holiday at some point or another for the rest of my life. Yeah it sucks, but that’s all I can let it do
is just suck. I can’t dwell on it or I’ll
never enjoy anything else again. I will
simply leave the negativity in one paragraph and a few sad moments I had today.
I did eat Pals Cheddar Rounds with my wife at 10am. I did wake up to a letter Ellen wrote me from
P. I did take a Jeep ride to the mountains
and sit in the peace of Horse Creek. I
did go hang out with Pop and talk about random things like usual. I did go eat with my crazy ass family and
laugh at their stories. I did sit in the
backyard with Tink and a beer and watch the fireflies for an hour. Those moments didn’t suck. I thought of Penelope in all those situations
just as I did in the other paragraph.
The positivity is what has to win, and that’s what I choose.
Sitting in the creek all those emotions and thoughts rushed
through my head faster than the water was flowing. Then they just stopped. I pictured P playing in the water and just
smiled. I woke up today to a Coach B
text and that let me know I had the strength to get through this day just from
his always perfect words. Many of my
friends sent texts saying thanks for showing me how to be a strong Dad and
great father. I wasn’t forgotten on
Father’s Day, not that I thought I would be, but there’s that struggle of “do I
text him or not?” and that’s ok, it’s a weird situation and I get it.
I’ll just end with this.
What I did for Penelope in those 23 months could be seen as strong and a
great father example and I appreciate that with all my heart. I just saw it as doing what a father is
supposed to do every day for his family.
You are strong and make decisions.
You show them love every second you can.
You let them know how much they mean not just in some Instagram photo,
but all those times that aren’t “picture worthy”. You watch Dads like Logan and Matt deal with
situations and be proud of them for all they do. You learn from Mike McCall, Chuck Phifer,
Todd Newberry, and countless other men in your life and use that stuff to the
best of your ability. You will make
wrong decisions, you will mean well, and you will screw up. You will get mad, you will say things you
will regret, and you will need time to yourself. That’s all I did. I did the best I could and let the world know
how proud I was to be Sweet P’s daddy.
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