SPROUT and my Sanity

P doesn't really watch and focus in on a lot of things, but she seems to notice things on SPROUT more than others.  Slowly I'm trying to get her into Rugrats and the good stuff, but until then it will stay on Sprout.
   First let's talk about the actual people on there.  It takes a special breed of weird to be that happy and demonstrative with your facial expressions all the time; especially when you are working with a chicken and a talking star.  Pre-K teachers are that type of breed.  I respect them 100%, but there's no way in hell I could do that.  My buddies and I talked one time about them being not bad looking at all, but when all you get to stare at are cartoons, you find anything more attractive.  They do have a pretty chill job though. All you have to do is wear pajama pants and act like a 3 yr old.  Not too stressful.  They throw in some Spanish every now and then, but maybe that's just their way of appealing to their Mexican dealer's kids that supply them with Happy Pills.  Either way, that would just be a weird job that I don't think I could do day in and day out.
   Chicka.  Chicka knows a little too much about how potty training is fun and makes some pretty serious diet decisions for my liking.  That squeak makes me want to rip my ears out, but maybe that is why she's on first thing in the morning.  Let's wake everybody up with the most annoying sound we can.
  Caillou.  Caillou doesn't deserve a paragraph.  That little shit is on the same level of giving everybody trophies.
  The Berenstain Bears are the exact opposite of Caillou.  They are the definition of cartoon and should be a staple of every childhood.  The books are at the top of my list.  I could go on and on, but I rank them with the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
   The Floogals are creepy as well.  They have 4 ears, They are a bunch of different colors.  To be from a different planet they are pretty dumb.  If they say Whoman instead of Human once they say it 500 times in 30 minutes.  Their daily projects do teach kids about common things in life, but I think a good question from a kid of "What's that?" would do the same and be better than watching this junk.
  Superwings, Sydney Sailboat, and Astroblast I have no problem with.  The episodes really aren't that bad and they have some funny stuff on there.  Maybe I'm delirious by that point, who knows.
  Maya the Bee is a creepy one as well.  I don't mind the theme song and P really likes this one.  But has anybody noticed that Maya's best friend is a dung beetle.  I know the kids don't get it, but just about every episode somebody is rolling in crap.  The dung ball race episode was the best.  I mean who doesn't like a good ball of poop rolling around the forest with all your friends.  The focus on perfecting the roundness of the poop for optimal rolling really took some writing genius.  I could imagine my friends getting wasted and writing this.  Maya is smart though and usually figures out her problems, which is ok with me.  At least she isn't crying to Mommy like Caillou when it starts to rain or something.
   Ruff Ruff, Tweet, and Dave is interactive and other than pausing for too long that makes me impatient, I like it.  Dave is a lot like me. He's bigger than the other kids, and doesn't care to let them know about it.  He also falls asleep first.  I like his style.
  So if you haven't noticed by now.  Ellen is asleep and P is resting.  Which means I'm going out of my mind and talking about Sprout.  I don't know if this qualifies me for a straight jacket or not, but it sure seems like it.  So Caillou I hope you grow up without friends and yes it is Dave, It's always Dave.