BEEP BEEP F'IN BEEP

   There's no sleep in a hospital. We all know that.  The biggest thing that limits that sleep, other than residents with no bedside manner, is that freaking monitor. 

   Technology is great, but it is also inaccurate at times. A lot of times. Before I write this, yes nurses I know that there is a privacy button and I know how to use it.  The thing is, other than with our couple awesome nurses, they don't really like you to hit it.  So constantly, just as my mind drifts from the hell we are living in, I get reminded of it with a series of beeps that don't mean shit.  Some little red node might have moved a millimeter the wrong way and now says she either has no pulse or she isn't breathing. That in turn sends you into a millisecond panic because you fear that it is true.  Oh wait, nope, she just yawned and it moved again. FML.  So I go back to playing my mindless game on the iPad and just as I hit a new level, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.  Oh look, right after my panic attack subsides, I notice P has fallen asleep again and it now says she's breathing too slowly.  It never fails that someone has to rush in, mess with her, wake her up, and then we start this process all over again.  Repeat this every hour on the hour for 24 hours.

   I get it really.  This will come in handy if something really happens.  After surgery I believe it to be a necessity, after that I'm not so sure.  I would still pick the lesser of two evils and let me watch my daughter and be her alarm.  I think my football voice of "Somebody get the hell in here and save my daughter!" Would work just as well as ole girl at the nurses station checking Facebook instead of the monitors.  

   No matter how much I rant and rave, I will still BEEP BEEP BEEP get interrupted by that little tan box of jackass just as I fall asleep.