I totally understand how the stigma of helpless Dads got started. I totally get that in most situations, as in mine, that the Mom does most of the caretaking and hospital type duties in relationships and with children. I fully understand how a screaming child is seen being more comforted by their Mom than Dad. The rare zebra striped unicorn of a Dad that knows what he is doing can be found, and I'm one of them.
Just maybe, I have this fucking situation under control. This morning I about lost it. Penelope has been having some immense pains and there is no consoling her. It doesn't matter what you do, you just have to ride it out. Sometimes 5 minutes, some are 30, and some can be an hour long. This morning was a 30 minute(r). I had to go check in at 730 and she was whining, which most kids do early in the morning. It continued to get louder and louder as we got to registration. By the time they put the armband on her, it was a full out shitfest. I tried all our usual pacifiers, but nothing worked, so I knew I was in for a doozy. This part I'm ok with. Her screaming doesn't bother me much until about the 3-4 hour mark, and then it's time Daddy lays the law down about being quiet.
The part that gets me is every person there asking if everything is ok and offering suggestions to quiet her down like I can't handle it. I walked into the hallway and started making laps around the registration room so the ladies could at least check people in without P's wonderful high pitched scream. Four ladies walk past saying Oh Dad are you ok, do you need help? Then a lady from a desk literally 30 yards away yells and says, "Would it help to pick her up and soothe her?" I looked and said without hesitation, "You have got to be shitting me." Four more people asking by the time I got back to the room if I needed help or what I should do to help her about blew my lid.
I shouldn't get mad. Most Dads can't walk this life. In less than 2 years I've gotten a crash course in nursing and can do a lot of things that most in nursing school haven't learned yet. I joke with one of our favorite nurses back home that she can just page Dr. McCall. The scary thing is I can probably deal with most stuff that happens.
I'm sorry that some really good people, some really good friends, turn out to be crappy Dads. Sadly, it happens. It makes me want to choke them simply because it puts Dads like me in situations like this morning. Poor pitiful Dad with the screaming kid that won't stop. He must not be able to handle it. I don't say this or post it on Facebook to get people to tell me I'm a good Dad. I'm doing what you are supposed to do. It is what Penelope deserves and it is what she will get from me. If it is any less, then yeah, lady from 30 yds away, it might be time to help.
But maybe, just maybe, not all stereotypes are true. I'm a Dad, I got this.
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