My Favorite Thing

                Yaya and Zouk at 730 am.  Now that freaking song is stuck in my head all day.  If you don’t know it, don’t learn it.  I usually pay absolutely no attention to these, but P was stuck on it so I just started watching.  Maybe it was P’s way of saying Daddy you need to see this.  Yaya and Zouk taught me about my favorite thing.  My favorite thing is right now.

                Yaya and Zouk went on an adventure this morning and every time they did something new, it was Yaya’s favorite thing.  It started to piss me off that every 30 seconds she said, “This is my favorite place to be!”  It wasn’t until Zouk got mad too and said not everything can be your favorite, you have to pick!  Then that little nugget of SPROUT wisdom came through.  She responded with, “It is my favorite because it is right now, I just enjoy being here with you; so it’s my favorite. I don’t have to like it all the same, but I treat it that way.” BOOM

                 Well thanks for making me think you little weasel looking creatures.  Now my friends think I’m going crazy watching Sprout for fun, but secretly it is on their TV right now too.

                Is my favorite thing getting 2 meds ready and flushing P’s central line before I even get my morning coffee? No, it sure as hell isn’t.  But is my favorite thing seeing that little face staring at me while I do it? Yes, it sure as hell is.  Is my favorite thing having to feed my daughter through a G-tube and then frantically stopping it because I forgot to cath her? No, it actually sucks.  Is my favorite thing playing with her belly and making her move her arms because it feels good.  Yes, yes it is.  Is my favorite thing laying on a couch not wide enough for me while my daughter can’t get comfortable and rest because she has nerve pain? No, it actually makes me cry.  But holding her hand the whole time and her squeezing my finger can’t be compared to any feeling in the world. 

                We can live a very negative life if we choose.  If I wrote everything a special needs parent has to do in a span of 24 hours, you’d probably agree it would be way easier to just say Screw it and be pissed all the time.  I have to find my favorite things and live off them.  For me, it doesn’t take away from any special moments to say that this is my favorite time.  Right here and now is all I can ask for.  This little slobbering, bubble blowing princess has showed me how happy you can be just living in the moment.  That is all she knows.  She doesn’t care if she’s doing the same thing other 2 year olds are doing.  She is perfectly happy sitting in her bean bag, watching her cartoons with her Daddy holding her hand.  That’s her favorite thing.  It will also be her favorite thing when her Mom blow dries her hair and gets her all prettied up later today.  When her Aura takes her for a walk that will be her favorite thing for those 2 miles. 

                If life was more favorite things, I think we would all be a lot happier.  I still cry, I still get mad and cuss, but that’s part of it.  I don’t ask God why anymore, I don’t think ahead, and I sure don’t take anything for granted.  Instead I just ask for more favorite things, look for them now, and love every second of it.