My letter to Cancer

Dear Cancer,

   First off, F you and all your different types.  I've always seen you show up around me.  My grandfather fell to you, and many family friends have battled you throughout my life.  It wasn't until you invaded my precious little girl that I really started to hate you fully.  I've always known you could destroy cells and take over people's body.  There are a lot of other things I have learned about you while our family has been at St. Jude.  So before I go any further, just know you are getting this letter from a Dad that is stronger than he has ever been before, so when I say I will fight, you better pack your lunch because I don't plan on ever giving up.
   I will admit, you scared the shit out of me at first.  When I heard the word Cancer and my daughter in the same sentence, I cried.  I cried for days because you made me feel helpless.  I have always felt for those who you have invaded, but this was a different kind of feeling.  What I didn't know is what I would learn from you.  I learned how strong my 22 month 16 pound little girl is.  Even though that you took her legs from her, she still smiles, still loves Minnie Mouse, and still has enjoyed doing things like going to the Zoo and seeing Graceland.  You have taken one of her favorite things in kicking her legs, but she's still looking at her Daddy with those beautiful eyes saying "I'm ok, lets go have fun, screw this Cancer."  I learned how strong my wife and I are together and that you might break us down at night, but when it comes to it, we don't even think about you and do what we have to with and for our little girl.  I learned that through writing I can clear my head and not let you consume my thoughts.  How you like them apples?  You might be fighting against us and you might win one day, but you can't make us quit.
   I learned that there are people like Dr. Armstrong and Dr. Dave.  I know for a fact if it wasn't for them being in our corner, we wouldn't be at the place in our hearts and minds that we are now.  They fight you every day and have a pretty dang good record against you.  They are amazing men and with their entire staff, will continue the fight for all these precious angels that come into E Clinic.
   I learned the strength and grace of children like no other.  You might make them wear masks outside to ward off infection, you might take a limb or even their hair.  The one thing you can't take is their souls.  I don't care what you do, but every kid sitting there is giving you the proverbial middle finger and fighting with more strength than you'll ever have.
   I know you have learned some things from Penelope and her soldiers as well.  You probably thought you could just set in her brain and spine and take over without a fight.  Yep, you are an idiot.  She continues to do things you say she can't and will to the last day.
   I bet you didn't think a community would surround our family with love and prayer to the point we cry out of happiness and our hearts being touched as much as we do sadness.  Tshirts, profile pics, hashtags, the high school lights, and hundreds of messages have poured out over the past weeks to show support of anything that stands against you.  Some people have never met Penelope, but have gained strength in their life through our fight.  There have been more prayers sent to the Man above than you have cells.  God's army is stronger than your army of cells any day.  You might test my Faith, and truthfully you shook it pretty good.  All I did for weeks was ask why? I still do, but knowing we have an army of people behind us praying will only get me through this.  Get you some of that.  
   I bet you didn't think high school kids would turn against you like this.  I bet you didn't think that teenagers, who are normally consumed with other things, would stop and band together for this little girl.  Through prayers at ball fields and at home they have come to realize the evil in this world should be met head on.  They have put P's on wristbands, banners, helmets, gloves, tweets, statuses, and most importantly in their hearts.  One of them one day might be affected by you, but they see the strength that it takes and will be ready for you.
   We have a new normal that is a part of our daily lives thanks to you.  You have taken a possible future away from us, but you can't take the present.  You have made us more alive and in the moment than ever before.  I notice everything now.  I cherish every moment.  People have come together for a cause, and that in itself has power.  God has been present this whole time, we've just had to look for him and search for him.  I don't believe everything happens for a reason, but this is our journey and we although we don't have to accept it, we can make the best out of it.  When life gave us this lemon, we made orange juice and had you question how the hell did we just do that.  I want you to go away forever, but I know there is still work to be done here at St. Jude's for that to happen.  They will learn from my little girl and use that against you.  Cancer you will lose one day.  I'm a mess inside and will be for a long time.  I cry every day about something.  I'm also Penelope's Dad.  That means Pigtails and steel will not let you take everything.  We are too strong for that.

Sincerely not yours,

Andy McCall, better known as Sweet P's Dad