Sweet P's Service

A couple people asked for me to post what I said at P's Celebration.

They don’t have a chapter for this in a handbook anywhere so I’ll do the best I can.  First I just wanted to say thank you all for everything.  Growing up you always did things like this, but you never pictured it from this side.  All I can say is you don’t want to be on this side, but if you have to be, words can’t describe the feeling of support we have.  Thank you really doesn’t cover it all, but really that’s all I have right now. 

My little girl isn’t hurting anymore and doesn’t have to fight one more day.  I want to be selfish and have her in my arms, but she’s in God’s arms right now and I have to be ok with that.  I know that she is up there in Heaven playing with all those other little kids that don’t have to fight anymore.  I know she’s looking down on her best friend Josie and taking care of her.  I look to see if she is in her boppy or bean bag and I think to myself, Andy you are crazy, she hasn’t stopped playing since the minute she found out she could.  I know she is running and picking flowers because I’ve dreamed it and pictured it in my head a million times, so I know it has to be real.    I struggled with Faith and believing through all this, and I still do about every other 5 minutes, but when a doctor tells you “I don’t know” or “I can’t explain it” then that is where my faith and belief was.  My faith is in purple hair, purple ribbons, and purple shirts.  My faith is in high school kids and seeing that there is still good in this world.  My faith is in friends driving hours from the coast, from different states, and those just across the mountain that have been there every step of the way.

  She was so unique that there wasn’t a definition for her.  We just said that’s P and knew she was going to keep going, so that’s what we have to do.  Ellen and I are the lucky ones.  Penelope inspired all these people that never even met her, but we were the ones that got to say “Good Morning Time Baby” and “I love you” at night.  No matter how bad it got, she always just looked up at us and let us know it was going to be ok.  She spoke to us Thursday morning because she knew we needed that.  She made sure we knew she loved us in her own little way. It was perfect.

I told P the afternoon she got her wings to never stop playing, and that I missed her, but I know she’ll always be with me.  Coach B from Mars Hill said something that was perfect to me.  Sweet P is running, laughing, and playing non-stop.  She finally gets to tell people how much she loved her Mom and Dad and how much she loved her unicorns and Minnie Minnie’s.  Her memory of this place will not be about politics, war, or crime but it will be of love and of how much we loved her and how much she loved us.  That’s pretty dang good if you ask me.

The thing about all of this is Penelope is going to be ok.  She’s better than ok right now.  We are the ones hurting and in pain.  I won’t ever be the same after all this, a piece of me went with her Thursday morning, I felt it.  The pieces that are still here though are a whole lot better off because of her.  We are all better people because of P.  I just see it as our job not to let that ever be forgotten and use that the best we can, just like her.  I love you little bit, thanks for letting us be your Mommy and Daddy.