Parenting

    In the past few days parenting has come up a lot.  Many people have said that I was a good father and Penelope was lucky to have a strong Dad like me.  I'm at that point in my life where that accomplishment is about all I need in life.  I don't know if that’s the only words people have, if they are blowing smoke up my butt, or if they really mean it.  I'll ask P the day I get to be with her again what she thinks, and that’s when it will mean the most.  For those of you that have said that to me though, I’ll tell you nothing means more than to hear I was a good Dad to my little bit.

     I was a parent for almost 23 months and I’ll be the first to say I am no expert.  I just did what I had to do and what I thought was best for my girls at that moment.  75% of the time I probably didn't know what I was doing or was repeating “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit” in my head while I acted like everything was ok on the outside.  I do think though I got the opportunity to not be more of a Dad than others, but to be more aware about being a Dad than others have the chance to.  I obviously sit and think about Sweet P all the time and what made our time so special.  If I ever had any advice to future Dads, or those going through hell like we did, it would be these couple things.

-Enjoy the moment you are in.  Dads are always thinking about 100 things at a time, I know, I sure did.  But are we really enjoying our kids at that moment?  Sure you are at a baseball game with them, a restaurant, or even just sitting on the couch, but are you really there?  Facebook and Twitter can wait, I promise.  I don’t get to do those things anymore right now, but what I can do is remember all those times and places I was with P and tell you every single detail because I was in the moment; and truthfully, it was awesome.

-Quit trying to make your kids “perfect”.  I was really bad at the first of P’s life focusing on all the stuff these kids were doing and P couldn’t.  I wasn't mad at her, but it broke my heart for her.  I failed to notice for a long time all the pretty cool stuff she could do and how special the things she did do were.  I don’t know your kid, but stop freaking judging them and comparing them to everything else in the world.  Laugh at their silly way of doing something. Notice how they look at something they love.  Celebrate things they think are cool, even if it is nerdy as all get out.  I lived in the land of unicorns and Minnie Mouses.  If I can find any part of that cool, you can too.  And keep repeating that.  Those are the things you will miss if you are sitting where I am.  If I was sad all the time or didn't pay attention because it wasn't “perfect”, I would have missed all these, and that I couldn't forgive myself for.

    

    I’m not going on the road holding seminars saying these 2 things will make your life perfect.  I’m also not going to limit these to just parenting.  What about your husband or wife?  This road we have been on can make or break relationships, and I’m pretty sure the statistics show it breaks more than makes.  But I started enjoying these moments with not just P, but Ellen too.  I stopped trying to worry about everything going perfect and realized I’m 100% happy eating supper on the couch yelling at those idiots on Wheel of Fortune with her.  Just be happy and enjoy the life you are living.  When situations like mine occur, all you are going to do is second guess and woulda, shoulda, coulda, every single situation.  The good thing is, P taught me these things early, and my moments from then on were perfect.