What I saw...

   It was a few months ago that I noticed something I had never seen before.   Looking into Penelope's eyes was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.    I noticed it first in a picture from the beach.  Something about her eyes looked different and it took me forever to figure it out. 

   Those last few weeks I never saw once that Penelope was sick.  I believe that it is God’s gift to parents with special needs kids. I never saw the cancer taking over her body and slowing her down. I never saw it.  I knew that she was tired and tired of getting poked with needles.  I knew she was tired of medicine and needed rest.  I watched it all but I never once saw what she couldn’t fight for much longer.

   I believe once I got over the shock of something was different with my little angel standing in that hospital office, it never ran through my head when I looked in her eyes.  I was lost in her soul.  All she had to do was look me in the eyes and I was fine. 

 I saw strength not weakness from everything going on.

 I saw a fighter that could have quit at any moment.

 I saw myself in those beautiful eyes and it made me want to do better.

 I saw hope that one day it would all be alright because she believed in me.

 I saw a little girl who I wanted to give the whole world, but all she needed was what she was looking at.

   I have to say that “I saw” instead of “I see” now.  I regret spending time, whether it was seconds or minutes, looking at the things that were wrong some days.  I see people all the time looking at their kids but not really seeing them.  I see them on their phones instead of being connected with the little one in front of them.  I’m over here wanting just one more minute and they are wasting hours.  what do you see when you look at them?  Do you see a disability or a miracle every day?  Do you see their faults or their little victories?

   I’m so glad that I got to be in the moment for that period of time.  My memories are now my moments, and I’m glad that I had the chance to see the light in all the darkness.  It was a beautiful.